Tis the season of midterms…
To rejuvenate my mind (or that’s what I tell myself to feel better), I took a casual study break…with my boyfriend Netflix, and guiltily watched Much Ado About Nothing before tackling this particular blog post.
To rejuvenate my mind (or that’s what I tell myself to feel better), I took a casual study break…with my boyfriend Netflix, and guiltily watched Much Ado About Nothing before tackling this particular blog post.
I have always admired Shakespeare’s character of Beatrice, the fiery niece not afraid to share her mind and somewhat socially awkward in matters of love and social grace, which may be why I connect to her more than anyone else. I wish I could say I’m a modern day Juliet, but I’m trying this thing called honesty.
A memorable line, that I wish I may have the
opportunity to actually say during a conversation, is that, “I had rather hear
my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.” Amen sister. For someone
like myself that is not only socially awkward with social media, but more so
with relationships and all matters concerning love, I began to ask myself
whether love is even worth it. (Yes, my study breaks normally become philosophical
debates with myself.)
The truth of the matter is that no one can
actually say that they understand love. You cannot measure the risks or
benefits with a formula or put it into a graph to unlock the world’s greatest
mystery. Your fifty- year old single statistics professor may try, but it
cannot be done.
However, it got me thinking about how these
questions and ideas about love and being in a relationship relate to social
business and media surprisingly well. In the Altimeter Group study from my last
blog post, I came across this definition of how to measure social media risks:
The likelihood that a negative social media event will happen X
(multiplied by) the impact that negative event will have if it does happen
I found it to be a peculiar notion, even though it makes logical sense, because it may take us until decades for the social media revolution to make an impact if we confine our minds to that kind of logic. Why, you ask?
I found it to be a peculiar notion, even though it makes logical sense, because it may take us until decades for the social media revolution to make an impact if we confine our minds to that kind of logic. Why, you ask?
Social business
at its very core is about relationships.
Whether it’s with love or social business, many people make
the mistake of rushing in and being disappointed with their results. You cannot
expect a relationship to grow, whether it’s at a networking event or at the bar
on Saturday night, without understanding the nature and rules of the “game.”
The easy part is saying that you are falling in love with someone or with
social media, but practicing it is a whole other ball game.
I will share with you today some tips on how to foster
relationships within social business or if anything land a date. All I ask is for an
invitation to your wedding.
Here is my email: ujinkim@usc.edu. I have no dietary limitations just for future reference when you are planning the wedding buffet.
Here is my email: ujinkim@usc.edu. I have no dietary limitations just for future reference when you are planning the wedding buffet.
Tips on How to Get
Social & In on the Action
1. Be Willing
The beginning of any relationship is always
a bit awkward. Being comfortable with awkwardness is half the battle, so you already have that covered! The key is taking the risk and going for it
anyways. Having an open mind is crucial to developing relationships and getting to understand someone on a more intimate level.
2. Be You.
There is no point in being with someone if you are not being authentic. Relationships are based on a balance of giving and taking and you are cheating both parties if you are not YOU.
Also, do not fear being funny or honest. Let your personality speak for itself.
Also, do not fear being funny or honest. Let your personality speak for itself.
3. Do not go on a date with yesterday’s outfit.
First of all, please do not wear day old clothes on a date. Do you want to be #foreveralone? It's a harsh reality, but appearance matters. On a date, you want to put your best foot forward and make a good first impression. Same goes for social media. For example, when writing a blog, it has to have visual aesthetics to keep your readers engaged and have conversations on relevant and current information.
4. It takes time.
People always say that there are plenty of fish in the sea. Sometimes it can be hard to believe when starting out in the dating scene or with your first social media venture, as you have to ask "Is anyone out there?" Developing relationships takes time and requires patience and consistent engagement. If you stop writing blog posts, then you cannot expect people to find you relevant, especially with the over-saturated nature of the Internet. If there is no response, then learn from the experience.
5. Look for tastes, not demographics.
Relationships especially with social business is all about content. Appearances are important, but relevant content or similar interests are key to developing connections.
For example, marketing to one's audience has shifted from assuming demographics (i.e. gender, age, "She's blonde, so she's down") to monitoring tastes to cater to people's needs (i.e. search engine history, events on Facebook) because of the digital age.
For example, marketing to one's audience has shifted from assuming demographics (i.e. gender, age, "She's blonde, so she's down") to monitoring tastes to cater to people's needs (i.e. search engine history, events on Facebook) because of the digital age.
6. Have a filter.
One of the worst things that can happen on a date or with social business is if you talk about yourself the entire time, so don't oversell yourself or your brand. Be mindful and tactful with what you say. If you tell your date that you have never been in a relationship, but expect to get married within the next year and have a minimum of ten children... you may want to look into getting a pet.
One of the worst things that can happen on a date or with social business is if you talk about yourself the entire time, so don't oversell yourself or your brand. Be mindful and tactful with what you say. If you tell your date that you have never been in a relationship, but expect to get married within the next year and have a minimum of ten children... you may want to look into getting a pet.
7. Don’t dwell on expectations.
Be open- minded and do not set expectations because it will not only hinder the relationship, but also create barriers for yourself and possibly losing out on an opportunity.
8. Listen, then respond.
Being able to listen is essential in having a relationship with either you clients or your partner. Imagine the divorce rates if no one listened to each other!
Being able to listen is essential in having a relationship with either you clients or your partner. Imagine the divorce rates if no one listened to each other!
9. Things change. Deal with it.
If you are a victim of Facebook Timeline, then you might understand where I am coming from. I logged onto my account one day, and there it was...timeline. I felt like a victim of social media, and I was. However, I wasted time not being happy with the change, when I could have been learning how to enjoy it. Social business is constantly evolving and love waits for no one!
10. Secure
your landing.
Falling in love after finding the right person or your niche online is a magical thing like flying without wings, but every honeymoon has to end sometime. There are two possible outcomes to how everything can turn out and it is important to learn how to accept either.
If you are falling in love, go deeper and land in a place where the relationship has never been before and can continue to grow. I think humans can learn something from animals, as eagles are known to mate by locking their talons and falling from great heights, which I find oddly romantic. What can I say... I'm a hopeless romantic.
The other outcome is not so lovely, which is when you fall out of love or miss your target. However, I find this outcome to be equally rewarding because it offers an opportunity for personal growth, as what does not kill you only makes you stronger.
If you are falling in love, go deeper and land in a place where the relationship has never been before and can continue to grow. I think humans can learn something from animals, as eagles are known to mate by locking their talons and falling from great heights, which I find oddly romantic. What can I say... I'm a hopeless romantic.
The other outcome is not so lovely, which is when you fall out of love or miss your target. However, I find this outcome to be equally rewarding because it offers an opportunity for personal growth, as what does not kill you only makes you stronger.
Here is a favorite video of mine, as a thank you for reading and final message to always be yourself, even if you are socially
awkward. Take risks, be engaged, and fall in love…it’s a REVOLUTION!
I hope you gained some insight from the musings of a
socially awkward rookie. We are given a unique opportunity, as the Net
Generation to take flight into a world bigger than ourselves. You never know
what may fall out of the sky, but have fun with it!
Your Friend,
Ujin
Sources:
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Martha-Beck-Lovers-Leap/2
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