I recently added zorbing in New Zealand to my bucket list for my "real" life and thought it only appropriate to start one for my virtual one.
If you are still trying to find your ground with social media, this may be helpful and entertaining to get you started.
1. Writing these blogs have reminded me how much I enjoyed writing ujinandtonic.blogspot.com and definitely would like to revamp that adventure with renewed engagement and new perspectives.
2. Next time someone tells me "Cool story bro," I will actually blog about it.
3. Find someone with a Myspace...and just ask "Why?"
4. Find an international online pen pal.
5. Try an entire month without Facebook. Withdrawals are to be expected.
6. As the Philanthropy Chair for my leadership fraternity Delta Omicron Zeta, I would like to help develop Mama's Hot Tamale's online social media presence!
*Shameless plug*
Mama's Hot Tamale is a non-profit organization based in Los Angeles who were the first food cart to be licensed in the LA county and offers many services, such as financial workshops for uneducated members of the community to learn how to run a business or kitchen incubations for aspiring entrepreneurs to create new edible creations (i.e. Gorilla Juice at Whole Foods).
Check what Mama is doing right now at http://www.mamashottamales.com.
7. Win the Great Mind Challenge by IBM and offer GBS a tangible, innovative social business strategy.
8. Cherish my last
moments of actually enjoying to read more than 140 characters before I get too obsessed with Twitter. Maybe try to
squeeze a bit of heavy, pleasure reading like Crime and Punishment.
To be continued...
Comment below with your bucket list items.
Let's exchange life stories.
Just wanted to share other conversations and some of my favorite links about the socially awkward! See, I told you people actually care!
1. INFOGRAPHIC: Is Social Media Making Us Socially Awkward?
http://allfacebook.com/infographic-socially-awkward_b92310
(Use link above for larger image or click image.)
2. Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl
One word: Brilliant!
The webisode series is a perfect example of how to share your unique perks with the world...one smile at a time!
Watch the first episode above or click link below.
To rejuvenate my mind (or that’s what I tell myself to feel better), I took a
casual study break…with my boyfriend Netflix, and guiltily watched Much Ado
About Nothing before tackling this particular blog post.
I have always admired Shakespeare’s character of Beatrice, the fiery niece not
afraid to share her mind and somewhat socially awkward in matters of love
and social grace, which may be why I connect to her more than anyone else. I
wish I could say I’m a modern day Juliet, but I’m trying this thing called honesty.
A memorable line, that I wish I may have the
opportunity to actually say during a conversation, is that, “I had rather hear
my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.” Amen sister. For someone
like myself that is not only socially awkward with social media, but more so
with relationships and all matters concerning love, I began to ask myself
whether love is even worth it. (Yes, my study breaks normally become philosophical
debates with myself.)
The truth of the matter is that no one can
actually say that they understand love. You cannot measure the risks or
benefits with a formula or put it into a graph to unlock the world’s greatest
mystery. Your fifty- year old single statistics professor may try, but it
cannot be done.
However, it got me thinking about how these
questions and ideas about love and being in a relationship relate to social
business and media surprisingly well. In the Altimeter Group study from my last
blog post, I came across this definition of how to measure social media risks:
The likelihood that a negative social media event will happen X
(multiplied by) the impact that negative event will have if it does happen
I
found it to be a peculiar notion, even though it makes logical sense, because
it may take us until decades for the social media revolution to make an impact
if we confine our minds to that kind of logic. Why, you ask?
Social business
at its very core is about relationships.
Whether it’s with love or social business, many people make
the mistake of rushing in and being disappointed with their results. You cannot
expect a relationship to grow, whether it’s at a networking event or at the bar
on Saturday night, without understanding the nature and rules of the “game.”
The easy part is saying that you are falling in love with someone or with
social media, but practicing it is a whole other ball game.
I will share with you today some tips on how to foster
relationships within social business or if anything land a date. All I ask is for an
invitation to your wedding. Here is my email: ujinkim@usc.edu. I have
no dietary limitations just for future reference when you are planning the
wedding buffet.
Tips on How to Get
Social & In on the Action
1. Be Willing
The beginning of any relationship is always
a bit awkward. Being comfortable with awkwardness is half the battle, so you already have that covered! The key is taking the risk and going for it
anyways. Having an open mind is crucial to developing relationships and getting to understand someone on a more intimate level.
2. Be You.
There is no point in being with someone if you are not being authentic. Relationships are based on a balance of giving and taking and you are cheating both parties if you are not YOU.
Also, do not fear being funny or honest. Let your personality speak for itself.
3. Do not go on a date with yesterday’s outfit.
First of all, please do not wear day old clothes on a date. Do you want to be #foreveralone? It's a harsh reality, but appearance matters. On a date, you want to put your best foot forward and make a good first impression. Same goes for social media. For example, when writing a blog, it has to have visual aesthetics to keep your readers engaged and have conversations on relevant and current information.
4. It takes time.
People always say that there are plenty of fish in the sea. Sometimes it can be hard to believe when starting out in the dating scene or with your first social media venture, as you have to ask "Is anyone out there?" Developing relationships takes time and requires patience and consistent engagement. If you stop writing blog posts, then you cannot expect people to find you relevant, especially with the over-saturated nature of the Internet. If there is no response, then learn from the experience.
5. Look for tastes, not demographics.
Relationships especially with social business is all about content. Appearances are important, but relevant content or similar interests are key to developing connections.
For example, marketing to one's audience has shifted from assuming demographics (i.e. gender, age, "She's blonde, so she's down") to monitoring tastes to cater to people's needs (i.e. search engine history, events on Facebook) because of the digital age.
6. Have a filter. One of the worst things that can happen on a date or with social business is if you talk about yourself the entire time, so don't oversell yourself or your brand. Be mindful and tactful with what you say. If you tell your date that you have never been in a relationship, but expect to get married within the next year and have a minimum of ten children... you may want to look into getting a pet.
7. Don’t dwell on expectations.
Be open- minded and do not set expectations because it will not only hinder the relationship, but also create barriers for yourself and possibly losing out on an opportunity.
8. Listen, then respond. Being able to listen is essential in having a relationship with either you clients or your partner. Imagine the divorce rates if no one listened to each other!
9. Things change. Deal with it.
If you are a victim of Facebook Timeline, then you might understand where I am coming from. I logged onto my account one day, and there it was...timeline. I felt like a victim of social media, and I was. However, I wasted time not being happy with the change, when I could have been learning how to enjoy it. Social business is constantly evolving and love waits for no one!
10. Secure
your landing.
Falling in love after finding the right person or your niche online is a magical thing like flying without wings, but every honeymoon has to end sometime. There are two possible outcomes to how everything can turn out and it is important to learn how to accept either.
If you are falling in love, go deeper and land in a place where the relationship has never been before and can continue to grow. I think humans can learn something from animals, as eagles are known to mate by locking their talons and falling from great heights, which I find oddly romantic. What can I say... I'm a hopeless romantic.
The other outcome is not so lovely, which is when you fall out of love or miss your target. However, I find this outcome to be equally rewarding because it offers an opportunity for personal growth, as what does not kill you only makes you stronger.
Here is a favorite video of mine, as a thank you for reading and final message to always be yourself, even if you are socially
awkward. Take risks, be engaged, and fall in love…it’s a REVOLUTION!
I hope you gained some insight from the musings of a
socially awkward rookie. We are given a unique opportunity, as the Net
Generation to take flight into a world bigger than ourselves. You never know
what may fall out of the sky, but have fun with it!
Even as a socially awkward child, I always wondered how
the tortoise defeated the hare. Robert F Kennedy would most likely answer that it is “only those who dare to fail greatly that can ever achieve greatly.” Obviously the rookie with a higher risk of losing, the tortoise was able to ultimately win the race because he not only stuck his neck out when it counted, but also remained engaged in the race.
In socially awkward terms, engagement is how you take a risk and use your unique perks for the success of your business or cause. Engagement is one of three qualities for the open world by Don
Tapscott that empowers and liberates its members toward a more transparent,
nimble, and engaged social business.
A recent study by the Altimeter Group, “Guarding the
Social Gates: The Imperative for Social Media Risk Management,” found that two
thirds of the surveyed companies considered social media as a risk to their
brand reputation. Amongst these companies, research found that only 60% of the
employees were either barely or not trained at all about social media. The data
demonstrates the direct relationship between risk or uncertainty and the
engagement of the employees, as the benefits from a higher level of engagement
and knowledge can potentially reduce the costs of risk.
Fearing risk is natural, as adopting new social media initiatives requires a certain
degree in the loss of control, or rather an exchange of control into the hands
of the employees. For example, the ideal case of employee engagement would be
complete freedom for an employee within your social business to have the
opportunity to implement their ideas and changes that would mutually benefit
both parties.
Professor Issac Getz presents the case for how to liberate your company by
creating a working environment for:
Intrinsic equality: Trust within
the company or in yourself.
Personal growth: Reflect and
develop own skills and ideas.
Self- direction: Allow change to
happen and trust it is for the better.
I definitely recommend to watch his talk!
However, too much of a good thing can produce risks of
its own. As socially awkward rookies, it is important to keep in mind how you
are engaging with social media, especially so you do not turn into…a nightmare.
(Note: It only gets worse. You can stop watching it if it gets too painful. I understand.)
Yes, it was a bit dramatic, but I hope this did not scare
you into becoming more socially reclusive from social media or forced you to make a life
decision of never having children.
Jonathan Fields also writes about the dark side of too
much engagement or being too hyper connected in his article, “Creative
Kryptonite and the Death of Productivity.” He takes the position that being too
connected can be kryptonite for your creativity and create an illusion of
productivity.
Just because you can reply back to Facebook
notifications within a minute does not qualify you as a social genius, but
rather makes me want to recommend that you reevaluate your priorities…and your
life. (Obviously, I am talking to myself here.) However, Fields makes a valid
argument that engagement in social media and being “wired in” gives you the perception
of being productive. Especially with the advent of the Internet, our perception
of time has become slightly skewed, as we want to be active of every waking
moment. But the human mind needs cognitive focus and temporal space to produce
great work. Just ask the big man upstairs… God had eons to create the universe
and all the wonderful things that come with it- from twinkies to human beings.
Being hyper connected and engaged in your community not only gives you the
illusion of getting stuff done, but more dangerously, gives you the feeling of
it, thus inhibiting your creativity and putting yourself into an endless cycle
of false engagement.
Ask yourself this: What have you done today?
If it were me, I couldn’t even tell you…sent some emails about this and that,
ran to class, talked to… hmmmm. Oh wait, I just got a text.
That, my friend, is called intermittent reinforcement.
Kevin Hoffman describes intermittent reinforcement as:
"Every time your
phone vibrates to alert you of the possibility of something interesting,
exciting, or even mundane (but new) – your brain is getting what psychologists
call a “Dopamine squirt”. Over time, your brain links the phone vibration,
ring, or the “new SMS” tone to a brief release of dopamine. You feel this tiny
little rush of excitement that feels like adrenaline every time your phone
vibrates, jingles, rings, or otherwise begs for your attention…[in which you]
actually suffer mild withdrawal symptoms…You get fidgety, anxious, bored, etc."
Lab rats are also conditioned with intermittent
reinforcement, in which feeding tubes can be activated by a button and
sometimes gives them food. Therefore, if you really want to think about it, we
are the virtual lab rats of the social world with our feeding tubes replaced
with news feed and text messages.
As a socially awkward rookie, you may be wiping off the sweat from your brows,
as you may have escaped the perils behind social media engagement and
hyperconnectivity. Or if you are one that enjoys the occasional dopamine squirt
now and then, you are not a virtual lab rat, so do not let the risks deter you
away from your goals within social business. However, it is imperative to
beware of these risky, pervasive behaviors to understand that developing your
own virtual voice and remaining engaged requires you to have some space from
the cyberspace.
As an ending note, I want to leave you with a question from Frank Scully: Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is? I think the tortoise would agree.
This is the Age of Networked Intelligence.
Get those Twitter decks fired up, square those fours, Pinterest your new
interests, and I promise that your Lean Cuisine will look a lot more appetizing
after you Instagram it.
Get wired people, it’s called a revolution.
Wait, did I miss something? Last time I checked I wasn’t living under a rock.
Yeah, this is a bit awkward. Or is it just… ME?
If you have ever felt like this before, you are in the right little corner of
the vast universe called the Internet. Regardless of your fitness and age, it
is simply impossible to keep pace with the virtual rat race. Fundamental
changes are altering the old structures around the clock, as new innovations
and ideas are being shared and implemented within our society. Yet, Don Tapscott, a leading voice and
authority in social business and media, said that “A revolution doesn’t happen
in society when you adopt new tools, a revolution in society happens when you
adopt new behaviors.”
As the first “Net Generation” who has grown up within this
digital age, the behavior of being socially apt has now become an expectation. Yet,
I cannot help but feel as if I am more socially awkward than I am suave. Let’s
be honest, how many times have you used the classic “smile and nod” when your professors or colleagues are talking about tweet this and tweet that? (I can’t
answer because my professor may definitely read this.)
Due to the internet, the world has become not only a bigger
place, as certain boundaries are being broken and more connections are being
made while communication is becoming more transparent, the world is also
becoming smaller. So, where do the socially awkward fit in?
What does it mean to be socially
awkward?
Urban Dictionary defines a socially awkward person as “an
individual excessively afraid of social interaction due to some form of peer rejection
or personal choice.” (Granted that it may not be the best source for a
definition, but the other option was a website called “Depression
Introspection,” so take your pick.)
Yet, the idea that social awkwardness is derived from fear
is true, and usually the root of most fears is from ignorance or simply not
being in the know, and the best thing about fear is that one can always learn
to overcome it. However, I would like to propose a proposition that socially
awkward people are not afraid, but may just be misunderstood. Social business
has been growing and continues to evolve in ways that social business
professionals and rookies, like you and I, can only imagine. However, social
business needs all the diverse voices and quirks to revolutionize not only with
shared knowledge and new tools, but to ultimately transform our behaviors
through the way we communicate as human beings.
What are these benefits?
THE PERKS OF BEING THE ROOKIE
1. It’s a part of our DNA.
You may have your own version of the bat cave that you may
like to run off to if you get too jaded from the social world and the Internet.
However, it is inevitable that we live in a connected world. If you are still
working out the quirks with social media, it may be comforting to know that you
have always been exposed to it.
Benefit: To navigate social business and the web, a business
requires active employees who understand and interact or react to the online
community. Growing up during the digital age has allowed us to already possess
fundamental knowledge about social tools and essentially how to communicate to
the audience and its needs, as we are the audience.
2. “Wonderful things happen when your brain is empty.” –
Maira Kalman
The rookie has the advantage of being an empty slate,
allowing for more creativity and opportunity. Persian philosopher Avicenna describes the "human
intellect at birth is rather like a tabula rasa, a pure potentiality
that is actualized through education and comes to know."
Benefit: If genius is the offspring of the in-between, then the
socially awkward are major game changers, as they are able to get into the
in-between of social business and react or introduce new behaviors or a new
perspective.
3. Socially awkward people are normally the ones to start an
awkward silence and to end one.
Whenever you talk or use a channel of communication, there
is always the PAUSE. This pause is not only necessary as it allows our minds to
process and synthesize information in time, but creates a space of openness
mentally and socially.
Benefit: The thought that a socially awkward person is the
one to introduce an awkward silence, but also to end it reinforces their
strengths as contributors to transform social business. Not only are we asking thought
provocative or necessary questions about the business, but reciprocating to
start a conversation about their observations.
4. Follow the leader.
Social business and the age of networked intelligence
provide a new type of freedom to the individual, as social tools and shared
knowledge are available for anyone willing to get in on the action. Just like
learning any new material, finding a mentor or following a leader can prove to
be very beneficial.
Benefit: Both parties are mutually benefitted, as more
information is shared and communication is transparent. Troubleshooting and
learning is a two way street and more dialogue about social media is created.
5. Finding your voice.
You have the
chance to find and develop your personal voice. You are able to follow your
passion and cultivate your interests with others who desire the same... all from your living room
couch.
My wishes for this blog is to discover and share my voice and provide
some unique insights about social business and media. Hope this helped you either
understand the perks of being socially awkward or at the very least be
entertained by my musings.
